Ann Everett is a Texas girl from her big-bar-hair down to her bare toes. For many years she did stand-up comedy for businesses, corporations, and non-profit organizations.
Creator of the White Trash Facelift, halter tops, and beer bling bracelets, Ann embraces her small town upbringing and thinks Texans are the funniest people on earth.
She’s an award winning author and active member of Northeast Texas Writers’ Organization where she serves as director of their twenty-seventh annual writers’ conference.
When Ann’s not writing, she spends her days listening in on people’s conversations at the local Wal-Mart, beauty shop, Dollar Store, and numerous other gathering spots. She draws from that research to pen her romantic comedies, full of southern sass and Texas twang.
Sitting down with a Texas girl...
1. Author name or pen name. If writing under a pen name, why did you choose this particular name?
Does anyone really want to read something written by an author by the name of Pattie Ball? Nope, I didn’t think so. It sounds like a cross between hamburger meat and a sport! That’s my real name, so deciding to use a pen name was an easy choice. I went with my husband and my middle names — Ann Everett. Ann also happens to be my daughter’s middle name and Everett my son’s middle name. Yep, in Texas, we’re so vain, we name our kids after ourselves!
2. When did you tell your family and friends that you were a writer? How did telling them make you feel?
I should know this, but I don’t. I’m not getting a grade, am I? I think I told my daughter first and had her read a really, really, bad, short story I’d written. I look back now and wish I’d kept it a secret longer, or at least until I wrote something worthy of reading! She was truthful and told me it wasn’t good. I felt terrible. Not only for myself, but for having put her through that!!My advice to new authors…don’t show anybody the first thing you write.
3. What would your grandmother think if she met the hero in your book?
Even though Ridge Cooper is attractive and a good man, she’d probably sum him up just like every other man. They all pick their nose, scratch their butt, and fart.
4. What is the most romantic thing a man/partner has ever done for you?
This is a hard one. I’ve been with the same man since dirt. In our early years together, it was probably the surprise flowers he’d send for no reason. In our middle years, it was rubbing my feet with lotion. Now, in our later years, it’s putting gas in my car.
5. If you were planning a seductive dinner in front of a crackling fire, what would you serve? How would you serve it? What would you wear?
Oh boy, I’ll have to answer this as my younger self, because I’m guessing we’d be dining on the floor, and if we got down there, we’d have to call a neighbor to come help get us up! Texas men love their barbeque, so I’m going with ribs, new potatoes, and a little dish I make called Peach Bliss which involves, peaches, ice cream, baked meringue, and whipped cream. I’d serve the ribs and potatoes on a tray with a small bowl to discard the rib bones in, (they’re messy, but worth it) the bliss would be on a crystal plate.
Since this is a seductive dinner, it’s not about what I’d wear, as much as what I wouldn’t wear…which would be panties.
6. Clothing is an important part of each scene. A low cut tank top sparks more male appreciation than a conservative button down, rolled up sleeve shirt. From a male perspective, compare the two opposites I mentioned above or choose your own for comparison.
Depending on the setting of the scene, I think a man can appreciate either outfit. In the book I’m working on now, TELL ME A SECRET, my lead female, Maggie, shows up in a jogging suit to meet her future romantic interest, Jace. Even though he describes her to his roommate as frumpy, the fact she didn’t dress to impress got him interested from the get go.
7. Besides being unfaithful, what quality in a man—no criminal acts—would be a deal breaker? Why?
Physical qualities, there are many…smoker, bad teeth, long fingernails, etc. Number one trait quality would be bad kisser. After all, kissing is uptown shopping for downtown business and if he’s a bad shopper, he’s not for me.
8. Do either your heroine or hero have a vice (drugs, chocolate, expensive jewelry, cigarettes, etc.)? How important is it to the story?
In LAID OUT AND CANDLE LIT and YOU’RE BUSTING MY NUPTIALS, which are part of a trilogy, Tizzy loves shoes, sweets, and tequila. Since she works part-time at her mom’s bakery and dad’s bar, many scenes take place there, so it’s pretty important to the story.
9. You’ve been dating Mr. Practically Alright for a month. He’s been to your house several times. Finally, he asks you over to his place to meet someone who is important to him. You are thinking it’s a child or perhaps his visiting mother. Wrong. It’s a big Labrador retriever who puts his paws on your shoulders and washes your carefully air brushed face from ear to ear. The biggest dog you’ve ever been around was the size of a meatloaf. What are the first words out of your mouth? If your date doesn’t offer antibacterial face wipes and says—by the way—Fido sleeps with him every night, what’s your next move?
Funny, the first thing I thought about when reading the question was a dog. The key word is practically. It’s not that I don’t like dogs. I do. However, if he’s not taken time to train a dog, then he wouldn’t be good “daddy” material and as we say in Texas, don’t let the door hit ‘ya where the good Lord split ‘ya. I’d be outta there.
10. In your work, regardless of genre, do you consider the environment and do you exhibit an awareness of practices that can make a difference? It could be something as simple as motion activated lights or lights on timers.
Since I write humor, I don’t think I do consider environment. If I do, it’s not something I set out to address. My character Tizzy does volunteer work, but it doesn’t have anything to do with the environment.
11. Do you think readers would embrace a hero—not a struggling artist, sculptor or writer—who earns only a fraction of what the heroine earns? Please explain.
In LAID OUT AND CANDLE LIT and YOU’RE BUSTING MY NUPTIALS, Tizzy is co-owner of the local bank and Ridge is a Texas Ranger. She’s worth a lot more than he is and none of my readers have ever mentioned it being a problem. She and Ridge don’t consider it a problem, so I guess if they don’t, then the readers don’t.
In my current work in progress, TELL ME A SECRET, my heroine comes into money by way of inheritance. How readers accept it remains to be seen. Since her money plays an important role later in the story, I hope they accept it. We’ll see.
12. Congratulations, your book has just been optioned by movie producer. Of course you’ll be a consultant to the casting director. Who would you chose to play your heroine? Hero? What song would you pick for your soundtrack? And since you’ve convinced the powers to be that you must write the screenplay, what will you be wearing to the Academy Awards to accept your Oscar for best screenplay? Include jewelry!
Talk about a dream!! Whoa, that would be great. Not only to have a book optioned, but to actually have input.
When I write, I cast my characters and make a story board with their photos. I’m visual, so it helps me have a clear picture in my head when I write them. In LAID OUT AND CANDLE LIT and YOU’RE BUSTING MY NUPTIALS, Tizzy Donovan would be played by Nina Dobrev and Ridge Cooper by Garrett Hedlund. The theme song would be “Dimming of the Day, sung by Bonnie Raitt. To the Academy Awards I’d wear basic black with pearl jewelry. I’m traditional, so it wouldn’t be anything too wild and if I could find something at my local Goodwill, that would make it even better!!
After almost five years, widow and single mother, Tizzy Donovan finally met the man of her dreams in Texas Ranger Ridge Cooper. But when he fails to show up for their wedding, she’s determined to find out why.
Enlisting the help of first cousin Jinx Monroe, and best friends, Rayann Tatum and Synola Harper, it’s not long until they’re dealing with clowns, yard gnomes, a missing stripper, and a Baptist deacon.
After a car chase and gun fight, head-strong Tizzy is more committed than ever to claim her happily-ever-after. All she needs is a séance with an old witch and a little help from Positive Jesus.
Tizzy knocked back the rest of the drink and
thought of every possible scenario for Ridge’s absence.
Wrong church? There was only one Methodist
Church in town. Flat tire? He lived close enough to
walk to the ceremony. Cell phone gone dead? Two
land lines were at his disposal. Heart attack? The
chance of that couldn’t be high, but it would definitely
be the best excuse.
“No, Rayann. It’s been over an hour. He isn’t
answering his phone. Daddy went to his house. His
truck’s gone. He’s not coming.” She started to pace.
Her bare feet sank into the deep carpet, a small comfort
against the ache the rest of her body was suffering.
“What’s wrong with me? My first husband joined the
Marines to get away and now Ridge doesn’t show up
for our wedding. Am I that bad?”
Rayann fell in beside Tizzy and matched her
pace. They zigzagged across the room like a band
formation during a half-time show. “C’mon, Tiz. It
has nothing to do with you. Boone enlisted to avoid
Marlene. You know better than anybody what a witch
his sister was. He didn’t want to spend his life working
with her at the bank.”
Tizzy stopped at a small table and stared down
at her wedding invitation. James Ridge Cooper and
Marjorie Louise “Tizzy” Donovan, request the honor
of your presence.
Up until an hour ago, it had been a perfect day.
There’d not been a cloud in the sky. The sun shone
across a heaven of endless blue, and the temperature
hovered in the upper sixties. It held promise of being
one of the best days of Tizzy’s life and now was turning
out to be one of her worst.
Where in the world is Ann?
Ann Everett author page/Facebook